SOUL SURMISE

REACH OUT AND TAKE MY HAND (A PARENT WITH DEMENTIA)

photo: Caitlin Stockman

 

Sam, reach out and take my hand

Even though you don’t know who you give it to

Like when I used to put mine in yours

To do everything I wanted to do.

 

You taught me, keep my eye on the ball

And then to swing the club right through

They talk about the sins of the fathers

I got so much more than that from you

You did your job as my front runner

I tucked in and you set my pace

It’s hard to watch you step off the track

To leave me to find my own space.

 

I turn off Tim Wheeler at the Roundabout

A round about a mile away

Take a long deep breath in the silence

To find the resilience and something to pray

The knot in my soul when I’m going in

Is only bigger and tighter when I’m leaving

Walking and talking in your glass coffin

Living in the pain of perpetual grieving.

 

Sam, reach out and take my hand

Even though you don’t know who you give it to

Like when I used to put mine in yours

To do everything I wanted to do.

GRÁ

Grá

Irish word 

For the English word

Love

But much more robust

Like onomatopoeia

A thump in the chest

A thud in the heart

Grá is who we are

Not what we think

Or define, or write down or preach

It fires what we do

It points to where we go

It gathers who we are with

A veto on everything else

Half the letters of grace

With twice the literary impact

The quintessence of who we are

What is our grá?

CITY TIL I DIE (50 YEARS OF SUPPORTING MANCHESTER CITY)

50 years ago

In the school playground

In the blink of an eye

Without much thought

Or was there

Had it been frog-spawning

In the pond of Uncle Jimmy’s constant naming

Of Bell and Lee and Summerbee

Becoming tadpoles in the peer pressure 

Of Derek Cunningham wearing the kit

Sky blue and white, claret trim on the socks

To the jumping frog 

Of changing sides in the lunchtime game

From United to City

To even up the teams

Stephen Martin, I see your sneaky face

 

There was no turning back

I became City 'til I die

And soon we were dying

It wasn’t fun for a while

If a while can be 35 years

Excruciatingly painful actually

For decades I wanted to find Derek Cunnigham

And tell him that I resented him

That he ruined my life!

 

But today Derek Cunningham

I could kiss you

Thank you

Today we won the FA Cup

To clinch The Double

That was a holy grail

But not just The Double

The Domestic Treble

That no one ever thought about

Dreamed about

Or have ever won before

For my 50 year anniversary

We won everything!

 

There will be begrudgers

They will talk about the money

And I wish this could be done without the money

But it’s not 50 years ago

So if you want to play 

Like that

Fast 

Furious 

Freewheeling

Perfect footballing poetry

Then this is the way.

 

So, 50 years

Of low lights

And even darker

(Macclesfield away in the League!)

There have at last been highlights

But the years and years of deepest gloom

Have made these bright days brighter

All the more joyous

Like the Promised Land after wandering in the wilderness.

 

It would all have been worth it 

For just that one moment

“Agueroooooooo…”

As The Sawdoctors songs goes

“To win just once

That would be enough”

The rest is showing off

Constant laps of honour

Still, I will always remind myself

Where I was for that Sergio injury time winner

That snatched the title from Sir Alex’s pesky grasp

I had lost faith, given up and left

To face my hurt 

In the garden

Missing the very greatest moment of the 50 years.

 

That moment about sums up these 50 years

But here I am

In my City shirt and tracksuit bottoms

And there is the Premiership trophy

With The FA Cup

And the League Cup

All in City’s trophy cabinet.

Blue Moon

Wonderwall

Na na na, City!

LOVE IS MORE THAN THIS HAPPY DAY (ON OUR WEDDING DAY)

I wrote this for our wedding day - May 18, 1996. I have used the title lines a lot ever since.  I stand by it is a mission statement for our love. 

 

I've got a circle of gold on my finger

It speaks of promises and trust

Seems love doesn't last too long these days

This ring reminds me that our love must

And if everything burns down around us

And if everyone is falling apart

The vows we made and the prayers we prayed

Should give resilience to our fragile hearts

So would you come and spend some time with me

Would you make that time forever

Would you lift me when they pull me down

And rebuke me when I'm not clever

Would you be my partner in every waltz

My companion down through the mystery

Would you be my hope through headline news

My touch of grace in times of misery

Would you let me come and dry your tears

Let me be there to share your sorrow

Love is more than this happy day

It's the hard work of tomorrow

So come away on our adventure

Be the soul mate by my side

Tapping the fulness of us as one

As these promises are fearfully applied.

 

 

IT WAS A MOMENT - MAY THEY FULFIL IT!

It was a moment

Our moment

We didn’t see it coming

But come it did

And God forgive us if we let it go

Fr Martin set it off

He didn’t see it coming

But it came

Like a swell of the sea

The noise rippling across an ocean of faces

All rising to their feet like waves

The sound

And image

Of a people frustrated

Impatient

More than a little angry

At the inertia

So they cast a shadow

High above their leaders

Leaving those leaders shaken

Looking over their shoulders

By the moment.

 

May they remember that moment now

The mood that it cast

The noise that it made

The people at the bottom of the hill

Away ahead of them

In their longing for the common good

For peace and well being

For a new kind of neighbourliness

Where our precious young and gifted 

Are not thwarted, maimed, murdered or sent into exile

By a past that is past

By ideological redlines 

Long past their die-by-date.

 

May they remember that moment now

And seize another moment

When they redeem their negligence

Redeem our yesterdays

Redeem our tomorrows

May they be brave

Fight, not the other

But for one another

Be gracious to neighbour

And even enemy

Compromise all that they want

To share all that we have

Together

 

May they remember that moment now

And fulfil it!

SMASH THEIR LINES TO PIECES, MY LOVE - for Rachel Held Evans

I wrote this poem for my daughters when they were starting school. As I sorrowed and surmised the death of Christian writer Rachel Held Evans, it came to mind. I send it out as a thank you for her work...

 

Are they teaching you how to paint, my love

Are they suppressing the freedom of your art

Are they colouring inside the lines, my love

Oppressing the love inside your precious heart

Remember that good is not always best, my love

There are times when the Lord God deplores it

Remember rules are not always the way, my love

Often times the devil will settle for it

So let your imagination go mad, my love

Throw shapes and shimmy and shake

Create the most seductive intrigue, my love

That no other human being could make

Yes, smash their lines to pieces, my love

Put your soul and this world’s at odds

Becoming an agitating provocation, my love

And the glorious beauty of the wildness of God.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I wrote this poem for my daughters when they were starting school. As I sorrowed and surmised the death of Christian writer Rachel Held Evans, it came to mind. I send it out as a thank you for her work...

 

Are they teaching you how to paint, my love

Are they suppressing the freedom of your art

Are they colouring inside the lines, my love

Oppressing the love inside your precious heart

Remember that good is not always best, my love

There are times when the Lord God deplores it

Remember rules are not always the way, my love

Often times the devil will settle for it

So let your imagination go mad, my love

Throw shapes and shimmy and shake

Create the most seductive intrigue, my love

That no other human being could make

Yes, smash their lines to pieces, my love

Put your soul and this world’s at odds

Becoming an agitating provocation, my love

And the glorious beauty of the wildness of God.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

VOTE THAT WAY!

The prophet said,

Seek the peace and welfare of the city

Pray for its well being

Because if it fairs well, we all fair well.

Vote that way!

 

Jesus said,

Seek first the kingdom of God

And his justice

Then everything you need, you will have

Vote that way!

 

Jesus also said,

Love your neighbours,

Just like yourself

And love your enemies

Do good to those who hate you

Bless those who curse you

Vote that way!

 

Then on he went,

Cloth the naked

Feed the hungry

Welcome the stranger

Visit the sick and the prisoner

Vote that way!

 

The apostle wrote of love

Holds no grudges

Hates evil

Protects

Hopes

Perseveres

Vote that way!

 

If we voted that way

God’s kingdom come

God’s will would be done in our Councils

As it is in heaven.

 

Now there is an election result!

THE DAY BETWEEN (EASTER SATURDAY LAMENT)

THE DAY BETWEEN (EASTER SATURDAY)

 

 

 

 

 

The Saturday of Easter weekend has always intrigued me. Jesus is dead. The Kingdom defeated. The disciples are in denial. Interesting day!

We can find ourselves in such places in our lives. I used Easter Saturday to pastor some friends through dark places. Call it, my Easter lament!

 

The great idea is buried

We talk on the day between

What we watched on Friday

And a Sunday no one’s seen

The world switched off the light

And cracked the thin veneer

It all started very good

How did we end up here?

 

Now where is perseverance

The secret of slow burn

Should I focus on the not yet come

And be vowing not to turn

Should I be bedding in

I’m not going to go away

Yes I am hanging on

No matter how thin this frays

 

When did I go wrong

Where did I get lost

And all these things I gained

Were they worth this cost

For it wasn’t crazy living

Just an ordinary mistake

All it takes is one tiny slip

For a domino effect.

 

The great idea is buried

We talk on the day between

What we watched on Friday

And a Sunday no one’s seen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Saturday of Easter weekend has always intrigued me. Jesus is dead. The Kingdom defeated. The disciples are in denial. Interesting day!

We can find ourselves in such places in our lives. I used Easter Saturday to pastor some friends through dark places. Call it, my Easter lament!

 

The great idea is buried

We talk on the day between

What we watched on Friday

And a Sunday no one’s seen

The world switched off the light

And cracked the thin veneer

It all started very good

How did we end up here?

 

Now where is perseverance

The secret of slow burn

Should I focus on the not yet come

And be vowing not to turn

Should I be bedding in

I’m not going to go away

Yes I am hanging on

No matter how thin this frays

 

When did I go wrong

Where did I get lost

And all these things I gained

Were they worth this cost

For it wasn’t crazy living

Just an ordinary mistake

All it takes is one tiny slip

For a domino effect.

 

The great idea is buried

We talk on the day between

What we watched on Friday

And a Sunday no one’s seen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Saturday of Easter weekend has always intrigued me. Jesus is dead. The Kingdom defeated. The disciples are in denial. Interesting day!

We can find ourselves in such places in our lives. I used Easter Saturday to pastor some friends through dark places. Call it, my Easter lament!

 

The great idea is buried

We talk on the day between

What we watched on Friday

And a Sunday no one’s seen

The world switched off the light

And cracked the thin veneer

It all started very good

How did we end up here?

 

Now where is perseverance

The secret of slow burn

Should I focus on the not yet come

And be vowing not to turn

Should I be bedding in

I’m not going to go away

Yes I am hanging on

No matter how thin this frays

 

When did I go wrong

Where did I get lost

And all these things I gained

Were they worth this cost

For it wasn’t crazy living

Just an ordinary mistake

All it takes is one tiny slip

For a domino effect.

 

The great idea is buried

We talk on the day between

What we watched on Friday

And a Sunday no one’s seen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WHERE THE LAGAN MEETS THE SEA

At the 4 Corners Festival committee meeting last week, many of us were challenged about a growing depression about our city.  The recent inertia in our local government has extenuated our polarisation and has us looking back to violence and injustice. Rebecca, interning from America, took a different perspective. She is new and fresh to the city and is loving it. She lifted our spirits. Watch out for that in next year's theme and events. 

Still marinating that committee meeting, I came across this poem. It's a love poem. It's a double love poem. Written for Janice and my anniversary last year, it is a celebration of our love for one another and our love for Belfast. Love changes things. Let us love our city into a more beautiful day!

 

Titanic Quarter on a Friday night

Al Fresco, my red and your white

How beautiful this is

Cruise ship docked a mile away

Tall ships basking at the end of day

We celebrate with a kiss

 

Were the Lagan meets the sea

We gaze out, you and me

And we are enough

Where summer sundown lights the land 

At a window table hand in hand

We toast to love

 

I caught your smile in the sails

And your deep joy never fails

To light up my heart

Getting better forever we dream

This is the best ever it seems

In a place apart

 

They say that nothing has changed

All I am seeing says it has

Yes we need more forgiveness

But there is the start of a new Belfast.

HERE

In difficult times, it is not about escaping from where we are as much as taking the time to take in all that is going on… to learn about ourselves in the waiting… This is heavily influenced by David Wagoner’s poem Lost, that a friend sent me in my recent convalescence…

 

Here, was once for Peter

Cowering disillusioned in an upper room

Where Mary muttered the impossible

And he ran to an empty tomb.

 

Here, was once for Paul

Thorns he couldn’t get rid of

Where the end of all the prayers he prayed

Was God’s grace to be enough.

 

Here, was once for Jesus

A bloody cross, all God forsaken

Where even the very sky grew black

As the interruption of mad love beckoned

 

Here… now… this… for me

I stop, take time and breathe

I gaze out at my surroundings

From my shelter of belief

Though my soul is bruised dark blue

I hear a holy call to embrace it

Gently, I hold on to my very self

Because no one is going to replace it.

 

In this uncertain terrain of tears

Gazing across these unfamiliar fears

I’ll wait ’til my deepest gladness reappears

Here.