SOUL SURMISE

RELENTLESSNESS - CRITIQUING HOME FROM FAR AWAY

This was my Pause For Thought on the Vanessa Show on BBC Radio 2 on June 28.6.19. The theme was "Leaving Home"...

 

We leave home on Monday 8th for what has become an annual trip to Uganda. We will fly over night… 24 hours from Belfast door to Kampala door, then after a good sleep we will take an 11 or 12 hour bus journey to Arua, on the north west edge of Uganda. 

It is not only a long way from home geographically, it is a long way culturally and economically. We will be in Arua for around 10 days with a team of 18 from our Church. We funded the building of a school and we will have an amazing time playing games and doing crafts as well as teaching sexual health and doing some painting among other things.

We will also take in a different culture where choice of food is not as varied, where leisure time is not in such abundance and where just getting by needs resilience and ingenuity.

And we learn about home. There is nothing like being in the middle of Africa to force you to critique your decadence, materialism and self obsession. For me there is always a thought that my wealth carries with it all kinds of bad traits.

One year, on a University team, in another part of Africa, I asked my students what they were least looking forward to, going home. One student said simply, The Relentlessness. Being in Africa where the pressure of fashion, looks, achievement and accumulation were absent she had found some sort of calm. She didn’t want to go back.

Jesus spoke a lot about the dangers and delusion of relentlessness and advised that we should worry about tomorrow but like the birds of the air and the flowers of the field should trust a simpler way of doing life. All the stuff of earth he suggested was flimsy and meaningless. Not worth the relentlessness of acquiring. 

I have never forgotten my student’s word. It lingers with me. It took us to leave home to look back and learn. I look forward to more lessons when I finally reach Arua on July 10th… 

BEING INSPIRED BY TREVOR STEVENSON'S STORY

(Trevor and I with Anett at Bethel Royal School, January 2018)

This is my script for today's Pause For Thought on BBC Radio Uister with Vanessa Feltz which had the theme Best Story Ever...

 

Last Summer I spent six weeks sabbatical in someone else’s story, as I did some editing and writing of my friend Trevor’s memoir.

The story begins with Trevor flying back from Uganda, wrestling with God about what to do about the poverty that he had experienced in a short trip to help a school develop a farm. 

Trevor felt that that trip was his contribution. He was training to be a vicar. He had no time to think anymore about Uganda. But God and his feelings for the poor people he had met wouldn’t leave him alone and he finally gave in and decided the best way he could help was by raising £100,000 for a better farm for the school.

After the money was raised it was suggested that someone had to with the money and set up the farm. Again Trevor was sure that that wasn’t him but after failing to get anyone else he and his wife Ruth set off to spend 3 years in Uganda.

The farm was eventually set up but one morning the Local Councillors appeared and asked Trevor if he would build a school for their children to get an education.

Trevor hadn’t the first interested in education but after some thought they decided to build the school. Surely that was the end of the story but no… someone else asked about another school and someone else gave enough money.

January 2018 I traveled with Trevor to Karamoja, almost the Ugandan wild west where only 20% of children go to school. We were there because the graduates from the 120 schools that have now been built had raised money to give other poor children like they had once been an education. It was an emotional day. It is quite a story and I haven’t mentioned the 700,000 water wells dug by Trevor’s organisation.

What I learned as I spent six weeks of my life in the chapters of Trevor’s memoir is that Trevor had no big plan. In 1993 on the plane home he could never have envisaged what is happening now across Uganda and neighbouring countries.

Trevor wasn’t a great visionary, just an ordinary ex farmer come vicar. What he did have was the faith to take the next step that God asked him to take. When God gave him a door he took a leap of faith through it. Working with Trevor on his story has inspired me that if I have the courage to follow where God leads me next that I might be amazed at what God can do in my ordinary life!

 

We are in the last edits of Trevor's book. Hopefully you will be reading it, later in the year. Watch this space!

AGAINST THE ODDS TO FIGHTING THE ODDS - LEVIXONE'S STORY - BBC Radio 2 Pause For Thought 7.6.19

(this is this morning's Thought For The Day on Vanessa, BBC Radio 2... Being BBC, I had to drop names of schools and Fields of Life... they are back in here... this is Levixone's God's grace generously drenched story... there's talk of him being around Ireland in September... watch this space)

 

I found myself in a slum in Kampala. I have been in some of the poorest slums across our world but Kosovo in Kampala is pretty rough. 

As I arrived the skies opened. Slums look even poorer in the rain. The lack of tarmac is more obvious, as you hop and jump across wet stagnant puddles and red clay mud. The tarpaulin, that people are hiding under, looks even more fragile. The wood and hardboard of those who live in do-it-yourself shacks look even darker and bleaker. 

I stood out of the downpour in Treasure Kids Primary School with Pastor Deo and Levixone. Levixone had been a street kid. Later he showed us the pool table that he used to sleep under at night. 

When he was about ten years of age, Levixone  appeared one day in Pastor Deo’s school playground to play football. He had hardly any clothes to wear. Levixone was like so many, surviving against the odds. 

Pastor Deo however was from a Christian tradition where the odds were constantly over turned. Jesus from death on a cross to resurrection. Indeed on Sunday churches around the world celebrate Pentecost, the birth of the Church by a motley crew, led by fishermen!

Pastor Deo’s faith made him a fighter against the odds. He connected Levixone with Fields Of Life’s school sponsorship programme that was fighting against the odds of education in East Africa. Levixone got sponsored by a man in Dublin to go to Treasure Kids and then on to Grace High School.

Today, Levixone is a pop star. A charismatic performer with great songs and a wonderful voice. His blend of African, dance, reggae and Gospel makes him regularly #1 in a variety of charts. Last week he won Best AFRO POP ARTIST OF EXCELLENCE. 

That would be enough but wait… Levixone still lives in the Kosovo slum where he runs a feeding programme for his people. He even showed me a house he and his friends had built after finding a woman living in no more than a chicken shack. 

A wee African boy growing up against the odds meets a range of Fighters Against the Odds who help him beat those darned odds. Now he fights those odds for others! For me that’s a win!

FR ALEC REID; PEACE AMBASSADOR - BBC RADIO 2 PAUSE FOR THOUGHT 24.10.18

This week's Pause for Thought theme was Peace Ambassadors

Nikki, when I became the minister of Fitzroy nine years ago I walked into a community of Peace Ambassadors. My predecessor Rev Dr Ken Newell had built a relationship with Fr Gerry Reynolds from Clonard Monastery, run by the Redemptorist Order, on Belfast’s Falls Road. They founded the Clonard/Fitzroy Fellowship still going strong today.

Early meetings of the Northern Ireland peace talks were held in Clonard and Ken with other members of Fitzroy were involved in the discussions. The work of Gerry and Ken and the Fellowship was recognised when in 1999 they were awarded the prestigious Pax Christi Peace Prize. 

Fr Gerry and Rev Ken however would recognise another Redemptorist priest from Clonard as the actual architect of the peace process. Fr Alec Reid got to a point in Belfast’s mid 80s where he could not reconcile his faith in Jesus with doing nothing about the violence going on in the streets around him.

One Saturday afternoon Fr Alec found himself in the middle of that violence. In a 14 day period where killing had gone viral, two British soldiers accidentally drove into an IRA funeral cortege. 

Fr Alec risked his own life in a vain attempt to save the soldiers. Minutes later he is photographed, with the soldiers blood on his face, having tried to give them the kiss of life. They died.

Unknown to everyone, Fr Alec was at the funeral to receive a letter from Sinn Fein leader Gerry Adams. The letter had the conditions by which Sinn Fein would enter peace talks with politician John Hume. That same afternoon Fr Alec drove to Derry and handed the letter to John Hume. It would be six years before we had peace but it started right there.

It is an unbelievable story of one man who had faith in a radical Jesus and who believed that peace making was at the heart of that faith. Believing was not enough though and he went into the very vortex of the violence to make connections that brought the peace we enjoy today.

Ken Newell describes Alec as the electrician of our peace. He brought the two wires together that ignited a long journey to reconciliation. 

JANICE SHOUTS STOP AND TAKES OVER THE DRIVING - Pause for Thought, The Early Breakfast Show - 17.10.18

This week's theme was Changing Directions...

It was a fun day. I were in Cape Town and though it was South African winter in July, it was sunny. I was with my family and some of my Chaplaincy staff. We were leading University student teams, building houses on townships. We were on a few days off, between teams.

We were out looking for an art gallery. It was an area of town that I didn’t really know. I remember coming up to the end of a side street and turning right. I think I knew immediately that it was a wrong turn. Even my staff in the car behind didn’t follow me.

As I confessed last week Vanessa one of my weaknesses is being in the wrong lane. I kept driving, knowing I needed to turn without ever getting into a position to do so. A few miles of this and my wife Janice shouts “STOP!” She gets me out of the car and takes control herself, turns the car around and drives us to the gallery! 

Christianity, and indeed all other faiths, make it clear that there is a need for humility when we are going in the wrong direction. I find it difficult even with those closest to me. Admitting I am wrong doesn’t come easy. Getting out of the car in the middle of the road and doing the walk of shame to the passengers side!!! Ouch!

Christianity, again like other faiths, also encourages us to seek help when we are in difficulty. I have long stopped being embarrassed to seek help from others. For me that can be Janice who helps fix me in more ways than just turning the car round… or it might also be a good friend or indeed God. 

One thing is for sure. When I am heading in the wrong direction I have found it helpful when someone shouts "STOP!"  If Janice hadn’t shouted "STOP!" we would have been past Cape Point and on our way to the Antarctic… (shivering sound)

MY GREATEST WEAKNESS - PAUSE FOR THOUGHT - BBC RADIO 2 - 10:10:18

My wife laughed when I told her that this week’s theme was “my greatest weakness”. Oh my could she could wax lyrical on that subject. And she often does.

Losing my keys every morning, which I truthfully believe is in my DNA because my mother could never find hers. Always being in the wrong lane, while driving. Again a carbon copy of my dad! 

Oh, if Janice was Sarah Millican she could get a comedy show out of my weaknesses and their outworking. Of course there are worse things than keys and motorway lanes!

I can remember my history teacher in Sixth Form telling us that any great person in history was one who knew their weaknesses. Like a boxer who knew they had an easily cut eye, they could then defend that weakness. 

The singer Tom Petty, who we lost a year ago last week, called these weaknesses fault lines. Like the San Andreas Fault under California, always waiting to quake, Petty thought we all had weak foundations running under our lives, that might give way at any minute.

As much as I can, in my life, I try to seek out those fault lines. I realise that I might have prejudices or see the world a little skewed because of the culture of where I was born, my social class, the spiritual character of the Church I grew up in, the political ideology I am steeped in and, to go back to the lost keys, there are no doubt fault lines in my DNA.

Jesus was always intuitive to peoples’ fault lines. When he met a Samaritan woman at a well he observed her gender, her race, her religion and how she was looked upon by her community and read the fault lines running under her life. They were very different than they fault lines he recognised when he met Nicodemus, a man, a Jew and a religious leader.

Jesus loved them both but to make that love fulfil its potential in their lives he assessed how to minister to their unique individual fault lines. 

As I go into my day, seeking to love my neighbour, I am constantly aware that everyone I meet has fault lines that I need to understand… and if I am to be anyway helpful to them I need to be acutely aware of the greatest weaknesses running under my life. 

ODIE, MY INSPIRATIONAL TEACHER - PAUSE FOR THOUGHT BBC RADIO 2, 3.10.18

Deacon Blue singer, and indeed BBC Broadcaster, Ricky Ross tells a story about a dog that he watched on Byers Road in Glasgow. Ricky says that the dog caught his attention and as he watched it, it ran across the road and  jumped into the arms of a homeless man lying by a shop window. It took Ricky a bit by surprise. On the way home he pondered that that dog could have been in a lovely house in the leafy suburbs, with a soft carpet and an open fire but here she was giving all her love to a man living on the streets. When Ricky got home he told his wife what he has seen and Lorraine said to him that that was the kind of love that only God and dogs have. Ricky wrote the beautiful song God and Dogs as a result.

In the summer we lost our beloved dog Odie. He had had cancer and the vets told us a couple of years ago that he only had weeks to live. We were blessed with almost two extra years. After Odie left us I reflected on his life. 

I was overwhelmed by what that reflection taught me. Remembering Odie was a lesson in unconditional love. Oh my wife Janice, my daughters and I loved him but nothing like he loved us. When I took him for granted, when I scolded him for barking at the neighbours, when I dismissed his very presence, Odie loved me anyway. There was nothing I could do to stop him loving me. He cared for me. He protected me. He watched for my coming home.

Lorraine was right. God and dogs. I suddenly realised that Odie had taught me more about God than any teacher in a classroom or preacher in a pulpit ever had. I had seen in Odie the kind of love God has for me. I was challenged by Odie about the kind of love I should have for others. He didn’t need words but by every action Odie taught me the meaning of God’s amazing grace.

 

SHORT REFLECTION ON the BBC DRAMA, MOTHER'S DAY

(The theme for this morning's Pause for Thought was "The Cost Of Giving." I wanted to do something about the giving of forgiveness and then on Monday night on BBC 2 I watched Mother's Day... that was it!)

On Monday night I was gripped by the BBC drama Mother’s Day that told the story of the Parry family who lost their 12 year old son in the IRA bomb in Warrington in March 1993. It was harrowing and emotional. The eyes were moist as I watched Wendy and Colin Parry realise that their son had been caught up in the bomb. Then they see him bandaged from head to toe in a hospital bed. Then they had to switch off his life support. Oh my. Tears.

Mother’s Day revealed that at the same time in Dublin a very ordinary woman, Susan McHugh, decided enough was enough and attempted to do something to end the N. Ireland Troubles. She held a meeting and then a rally where 20,000 came out into Dublin city centre to tell the terrorists that we were fed up with the killings.

The rest of the drama shows how the Parry’s, with the help of the McHugh’s, decided that they should use their grief to speak out, to become peace makers. Their vulnerable attempts to make a difference for us all again brought me to tears. Different tears. Hopeful tears.

The Parrys are not the only people who have taken the horror that visited them to act for peace. I am always inspired by those who have every reason not to work for peace, modelling for us an alternative way to deal with the loss.

The Parrys have spent the twenty five years since they lost their beloved son, as peace builders. They founded the The Tim Parry Johnathan Ball Foundation for Peace in the name of their son and the 4 year old boy who was killed the same day. At their Peace Centre in Warrington they invited former IRA man Martin McGuinness to speak.

It is hard to quantify what that must have cost. To let go of your pain and heartache. To let go of your seeming right to vengeance and justice. To forgive or at least be prepared to be reconciled.

The IRA Ceasefire happened seventeen months after Tim’s death on what would have been his 14th birthday. The loyalist ceasefires came just a few weeks later. There was a whole lot more to those ceasefires and the peace agreement that followed BUT acts like the Parrys and McHughs played their part for sure. The cost of their sacrificial giving helped to buy us all peace.

A SPIRITUAL LESSON FROM VINCENT KOMPANY

(my Pause for Thought on BBC Radio 2, Vanessa Feltz Show on August 30th 2018)

I try, with all the discipline I can muster, to stay clear of football in my Pause for Thoughts. But the theme Saving The Day left me no choice. Sorry Vanessa but I could not help myself. 

It should have been the day when all my dreams came true but had turned into the very worst nightmare. After 44 years of footballing misery my beloved Manchester City just had to beat a very poor QPR to win the Premiership. The last twenty minutes were pure torture. 2-1 down with Man United winning at Sunderland, we had blown it again. Into injury time. No one could save us now. United fans were celebrating, smiling to themselves and laughing at us! I was in the garden avoiding the obvious. Heartbroken. When Edwin Dzeko scores in injury time it was only to make it worse. How close... 

… and then the ball is in the box. Aguero takes it past a defender. Shoots. GOAL!. Sergio Agueroooooooooo! The man who would forever after have zillions of o at the end of his name literally saved the day, the season, the club... I watched it for a week and wept every time.

When the City captain Vincent Kompany was asked about that moment, in a recent interview, he said that he never stopped believing. I was struck by why. He said that the team had come back right at the end of games before that season and so he remembered those moments and that had given him hope that we could do it again. Not me! I was in the garden. 

I grew up, here in Northern Ireland, near a mountain called Slemish. It is where it is believed St Patrick was a slave, looking after sheep. Some days Slemish looks clear and beautiful. Other days the soft Irish drizzle covers it up, like it had disappeared. A friend once told me that on the days he couldn’t see it, he remembered back to when he could. Sometimes that is like faith. For me when God feels distant, even absent, I remember back to when God was close, interrupting my life with love and strength and wisdom and believe he is still there.

Today. This week. We might find ourselves a little down or lost. We might find ourselves in difficult moments. When hope seems fading, covered in the mist or fog of circumstances and the day seems lost. It might be good to look back to better days. Look back to something that reminds us and gives us faith and hope to find resilience until the day is saved! 

MY FAVOURITE PLACE ON EARTH - PAUSE FOR THOUGHT BBC RADIO 2, 8.6.18

I could not be more excited this morning to be sharing with you my favourite place on earth as in 16 days and i will be right there… Now I have a few close seconds. I love Cape Town and have spent many months there gazing at Table Mountain. I had a sabbatical some years ago in Vancouver where I stayed in beautiful Kitsilano. Our own Ballycastle on the north coast of Ireland is special to me too… but in 16 days the Stockmans will be back in the playground of Onialeku Primary School on the edge of Arua, north west Uganda.

A few years ago our Church in Fitzroy tithed their recent building project to fund a school in this out post of the Pearl of Africa. In 2015 we went out to open that school and fell in love… not with the building though as buildings go this one looked unbelievable. No, we fell in love with the children. Children whose parents had to start a school to get them an education. Children who had little chance of a future but can now dare to hope that education might help them out of poverty.

Now, when I say poverty, I mean… poverty in shillings, still the currency in Uganda. What we have found is that we are rich… but only in shillings. Time spent on this school has taught us that these families are rich in joy, hope, imagination and resilience. Those are things that our wealthy developed world are a little impoverished in. 

Onialeku Primary School is not as scenically pleasing as Table Mountain or Kitsilano beach or Ballycastle Bay. There are no outside swimming pools, or great restaurants or wonderful ice cream.

BUT… I have  mantra I use a lot by writer Frederick Buechner that says "vocation is the place where your deepest gladness meets the world’s deepest need.” In Onialeku my family feel that deepest gladness. In just 16 days time I will look across that playground and see my daughters and my wife with a smile on their face that is bursting out of their inner souls. They love this place and that therefore is by far my favourite place on earth!